Courtroom of Anime: Cory, So Desu Ne?
by Miz-KTakase
Summary: In the 3rd installment, we talk about the all-time best anime "Cory in the House"... or is it? It's time we put this popular internet meme to rest, as the entire Anime Community wants justice for this. This is based on the Cory Anime meme. Rated M for foul language and mild violence.


**_The following fic you're about to see is fictional, but also factual. DO NOT attempt to redo or reboot any scenes or styles, without express written consent.  
Also, do NOT hate me for what I am about to do in this fic series.  
This fic is inspired by Taylor Enterprises, for "The Courtroom of Randomness". DO NOT attempt to steal or copy his work, or face severe penalties.  
Enjoy the fic._**

* * *

 ** _To those reading this, the opinions of this following fic are addressed to a certain meme that has annoyed me are mine alone. This is SOLELY for entertainment purposes.  
DO NOT haze me with anything that is threatening. This is only proven fact. I'll explain it in the end._**

* * *

Outside, in a brisk cold afternoon, in the city of Middle of Nowhere, USA, there was a huge white marble courthouse, located in the middle of downtown.

 _You are about to enter the courtroom of Judge Orville P. Gumball. The people are real… The cases are real… and the verdicts are final, so you better deal with it, since it's HIS rule, or else he'll send your butt to the slammer!  
You're about to enter… **The Courtroom of Anime!**_

* * *

 _Courtroom – Monday, April 10th, 2017 – 10:00am_

* * *

The crowd is in their seats, rabbling and speaking in murmurs, as the bailiff, dressed in a beige uniform, was standing by the podium. The bailiff called, "ALL RISE! The right and cute and honorable Bethany Nevins, presiding!"

Everyone stood up, as a small girl with short auburn hair in a black judge's robe appeared. She sat in her seat and said, "HERE YE, HERE YE! Courtroom of Anime is now present!"

The crowd murmurs in confusion, as she called out, "ORDER! **ORDER!** "

She explained, "Judge Orville P. Gumball is not here, this week, due to a sudden illness. I'll be filling in for him, for this case. Now, let's begin committing a show… that is _THE #1 anime of all-time_ … _Cory in the House!_ "

A huge tirade of boos engulfed the courtroom, as the people were roaring and jeering at the girl.

The girl pounded her gavel loudly, and repeatedly.

(Penn): **SHUT! THE FUCK! UP!**

The jeering died down, as she said, "ENOUGH OF THIS SHIT! BETH NEVINS IS NOT GONNA TELL YOU AGAIN! We know _Cory in the House_ is NOT an anime, but _I'll_ be the judge of that! Some of you say it is, and some of you say it isn't! Let's put an end to this theory, once and for all! Bring the trollish anime in!"

A cutout head of Cory is shown, with his grin, as he was sitting in the defendant's chair. All the anime people booed at Cory, as his defense attorney was sitting next to him.

"Today's case: _The ENTIRE Anime Community vs. "Cory in the House" from Walt Disney_ has now come to order." Beth said, "Who will be defending Cory Story Allegory?"

 ** _NOT FUNNY!_**

Beth said, "Sorry."

A girl in black hair appeared, in an all-black suit, "That'll be me, Hotaru Tomoe, defending for a Mr. Kyle Massey, star of _Cory in the House_. The cutout you see here is the representation of Mr. Massey's character."

Beth said, "Very good. Who is defending the _ENTIRE_ Anime Community?"

A girl in black hair, up to her shoulders, wearing a dark blue suit and skirt, called out, "I am. Miss Yakumo Tsukamoto, prosecution."

The crowd boos, as Yakumo pleaded, "Believe me, since Mr. Cory wants me to defend him, but if I did, Tenma would hate me forever."

Beth said, "Good. Now-."

She banged the gavel and roared, as the booing was louder than before.

(Filthy Frank): **IT'S TIME TO STOP! IT'S TIME TO-  
** (Penn): **SHUT! THE FUCK! UP!**

The crowd went silent, and then said, "ENOUGH! Anymore booing at the defendant _or_ the prosecution, and I'll end this fic, right here!  
Now, Miss Tsukamoto, opening arguments…"

Yakumo said, "Thank you, your honor. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, and all of anime community, what _is_ anime? Why, anime is the definition of Japanese Cartoons. An anime is a Japanese cartoon, hand-drawn or computer generated by animators.  
We are all from different worlds, dating back to our lord and savior of anime, the mighty Voltron. _Cory in the House_ is NOT one of those. Anime world has been blooming, since the 1990s, producing such eye-popping classics. What does anime define? Names like _Sailor Moon, Pokémon, JoJo's Bizarre Adventure, Full Metal Alchemist, Attack on Titan, School Rumble_ … just to name many an anime."

A juror called out, "Uh, _School Rumble's NOT an anim-_."

Yakumo barked, "NOT MY POINT!"

She continued, "But I can assure you that anime is what it is, today. Lemme clarify form the show we are suing… _Cory in the House_ is a Disney show in 2007, a spin-off of " _That's So Raven_ ". A completely poor spinoff that lasted two seasons… before the ax. And _Cory in the House_ appeared in 2007, during the penultimate years of ADV Films' last gasps for breath, before it died in 2009. And what occurred during Cory Anime's lifespan? A video game? A manga comic book? Or possibly Cory-brand curry packets or tampons? I'll tell you what happened… NOTHING!"

Beth gasped, as she asked, "Uh, Prosecutor Tsukamoto… What's a tampon?"

Hotaru boomed, "OBJECTION! SHE'S OBVIOUSLY MAKING FALSE ACCUSATIONS!"

Beth boomed, "Sustained! Only because I don't know what a tampon in. Continue, Miss Tsukamoto, but get to the point!"

Yakumo explained, "By 2008, we were blessed with newer anime, and the works, and all of a sudden, you'd go ahead and make an anime reference to a Disney Show that is NOT animated! Yes, Walt Disney is known for its animated cartoons and gems, but has _Walt Disney Animation Studios_ ever _once_ created an anime by Disney? I say NO! _Mulan_ is NOT an anime! _Big Hero 6_ is NOT an anime! _Frozen_ is NOT an anime; maybe in Sweden, but never in America! My word… Burbank is the _beautiful downtown place_ that Rowan and Martin say it is… (god rest their souls)."

Beth said, "Miss Tomoe, your turn."

Hotaru said, "My client refuses to acknowledge that he's an anime character, because he's TOO animated. But DO NOT act racist on me, anime people! Walt Disney in Burbank has created superb gems; gems such as _Cheetah Girls, Kim Possible, Even Stevens, Mickey Mouse Club,_ and a plethora of family-oriented specials and movies. We don't play devil's advocate. WE STAY humble and pure! But why do anime be so strong? Next thing you'll say that Spiderman is anime! Hulk is anime! Mickey Mouse is anime! That's because they _acquired_ anime shows on Disney, including, most recently, the _Pokémon_ anime. Matter of fact that anime HAS joined Disney, with classics from _Studio Ghibli_ ; such as _Howl's Moving Castle, Ponyo, The Wind Rises,_ and _Spirited Away_. The great Hayao Miyazaki has helped Mickey Mouse! It wouldn't be what it is today, releasing Disney theatrical movies, including Miyazaki's masterpieces!  
Japan needs to reboot classic fan favorites and cult classics! And _Cory in the House_ , despite being two-years of existence, is one of those."

Cory Baxter said, "I'm in the house!"

Beth banged the gavel, and said, "Speak when it's your turn, you Scrooge McDuck! Miss Yakumo…"

Yakumo said, "Your honor, I'd like to present the court some discriminating evidence on _Cory in the House_. This is a YouTube video called " _Top 27 Anime Boobs_ ". This was uploaded by a YouTuber that appeared in 2008. And it included _not_ hot boobs… but this!"

The _Cory in the House_ intro played, with _Mega Man 2 music_ playing in the background. The court was shocked, as Beth cried, "What dat?"

Hotaru cried, "Objection! Your honor, this music is from _Mega Man 2_. There's no way!"

Beth called, "Overruled!"

Yakumo continued, "And you can see… Instead of _hentai_ , we got _trolling_ , dating back to the Rick Roll and the Trolololololol… Sorry, my tongue slipped."

Hotaru said, "That's all well and good, but did you look at the _WHOLE_ video?"

The video continued, showing _Phil of the Future,_ another short-lived Disney show. Cory said, "YES! YES! YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES! I'm anime forever! My buddy, Phil, is an anime, too!"

Yakumo cried, "That's only TWO animes that are NOT anime! It doesn't make any sense! They're BOTH not anime!"

Hotaru explained, "Your honor, I have another piece of evidence that will solve the mystery."

She slapped down a small dark grey video game cartridge of _Cory in the House_ on Nintendo DS. Hotaru said, "This will explain everything, and why Cory is, in fact, anime!"

She explained, "Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, this game, from the Nintendo DS, as it is photoshopping such dialogue boxes and animations. If you can play this on your DS, should you have one, you can see how it's well drawn and very complex. The game is also from a developer from Japan, called-."

Yakumo said, "Your honor… Please…"

Beth sobbed, "I don't even have a DS."

She added, "Also, the name is stricken from the record, before you even say it! Besides, there's copyright issues, whatever they are."

Hotaru said, "Anyway, while it was created as a spanning joke, we cannot overlook the fact that this game and its series engulfed a huge cult following by the anime community, and deemed it worthy as _anime_. For instance, without these kooky story ideas for the series, anime would not be what it is!"

She concluded, "In fact, it saved the life of a grandmother who died of cancer."

Yakumo gasped, as Hotaru said, "According to _Metacritic_ , despite the game being panned worldwide, a reviewer said that it is one of the greatest games of all-time. "I told her to play this game, so that she can have experience at least one last ounce of joy. Literally one day later, she is well enough to leave the hospital and her cancer is now in remission. If this game hadn't existed, my grandmother would be dead, right now. Thank you, Cory!" See? The game saved a life. Anime world was in a climax, and this series saved an old lady's life!"

Beth said, "To be honest, I have no answer on this."

Yakumo cried, "ARE YOU MAD? THIS IS NOT AN ANIME! THE ENTIRE ANIME WORLD IS ON A CLASS ACTION LAWSUIT AGAINST THIS PATHETIC DISNEY RIPOFF!"

A voice called, "Yes, we agree."

The _BND Theme_ plays, as Haruka Tenoh and Michiru Kaioh appeared, in matching red and black school uniforms. Haruka, a woman in blonde hair, was in a red blazer and black pants, while Michiru, a woman in green hair, wore a red shirt and black skirt. Haruka said, "We've heard enough!"

Michiru added, " _Cory in the House_ saved a life. But how can you call it an anime, if it's just a meme?"

Yakumo said, "Uh, yes, what they said."

Hotaru roared, "HARUKA-PAPA! MICHIRU-MAMA! Do you know what happens, when you call _Cory in the House_ _JUST A MEME?!_ "

(Chris Jericho): **YOU JUST MADE THE LIST!  
** (Crowd cheers on)

Hotaru cried, "While it's anime personified, it saved thousands, no, millions of lives! And not once you can ridicule its based value!"

Haruka said, "Scandalous! You say that, because you're an anime character, too."

Michiru added, "And you know that anime world has shunned the Baxter brat, and his video game!"

"But I played the game, as well," Hotaru said, "And made me think of my life's goals. I swore to myself that I would never turn evil, as the Guardian of Death! That game changed me, after playing it, before the court! I praise it, because it's the best anime in the world!"

Haruka yelled, "You brat! How dare you call this game an anime cult classic?"

Michiru said, "You either denounce that virus germ, or you're grounded!"

Hotaru said, "No amount of parenting can stop me from making my opinions."

Beth called, "Hold the wha on! What do you mean _meme_?"

Hotaru said, " _Cory in the House is the best anime ever_ is considered an internet meme, or a joke by trolls. To put lightly, it's been a decade, since the show was cancelled, and became a household name."

Beth nodded, "Ah, I see. What's a meme?"

Hotaru said, "You'll understand when you're older."

She added, "Ladies and gentlemen of the court, you heard me! I admit it's an anime, but that's _your_ opinion! _Cory in the House_ may started out as live-action, but what would happen if it _did_ produce anime from Disney?"

Yakumo called, "Your honor, if it pleases the court, may I make one small addendum: Yes, reboots are fun, but if you reboot them, it'll downright fizzle and be panned! If _21 Jump Street_ was a hit movie, you'd call it an anime! What about _Mortal Kombat_ movies? YES! Make THAT an anime, too! _Rugrats, The Simpsons, Family Guy_ , make them animes! But your honor, what's the point? If you want to reboot it into an anime, with consent from the community, do it right! Just do not end up like the _one_ in " _Killer Anime_ " _,_ and act like it's a poop job!"

She held up a destroyed DVD of an anime called " _Mars of Destruction_ ", "BEHOLD! The example of why _Cory in the House_ is NOT an anime, and why it will _never_ be rebooted! I have in my hands the greatest anime that ever lived… Arguably the **_WORST_** _ANIME EVER MADE_ : _Mars of Destruction_!"

She played the DVD, as it showed the entire story. Yakumo narrated, as she explained the difference, "As you see, _Mars of Destruction_ is a classic sci-fi romp, which a military alien force fights off monsters that invade the Planet Earth. The animation is limited, the voice acting is sloppy, the storyline made no sense, and the ending was garbage!"

 ** _Miz-K Note:_** _I saw Mars of Destruction, and it was… Meh. T_T_

Haruka and Michiru were laughing, and then said, "How dare you show us this tripe? Take that!"

 **BLAST!  
BLAST!  
BLAST!  
**Yakumo was blasted in black soot and burns, as she was badly hurt and scarred, while the DVD for Mars of Destruction was completely destroyed. Haruka then said, "Your honor, we claim _Cory in the House_ as anime. If Hotaru likes it, we have no objections."

Michiru added, "Any who dare defy our plea, we will give you it. And you will deserve… … … … …it."

Beth said, "Oh, yeah? I can't watch that anime, because it's too gory!"

She banged her gavel and called out, "And, what, _pray tell…_ is _it_?"

Haruka said, "Just this… We will have Cory Baxter dance to the music of _Mega Man 2_ , in front of a live studio audience."

Michiru added, "And to add, he will cheer on, as the best anime of 2017! The best anime in all of space and time!"

Yakumo snarled, "Traitors!"

Cory cheered, "Yeah, boyeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee-!"

 **KABOOM!  
** Thunder exploded, as a boy in blonde hair, done in a ponytail, wearing a red coat, with his right arm completely metal, called out, "BLASPHEMY! How dare you say that _Cory in the House_ is the best anime in all of time and space?"

Beth asked, "And who are YOU supposed to be?"

Edward Elric said, "I'm Edward Elric, the champion of Anime! I am from the _best all-time anime,_ " _Full Metal Alchemist: Brotherhood_ ", the best in the anime world, other than _DBZ, One Piece, Sailor Moon, Attack on Titan, JoJo's Bizarre Adventure_ , and countless others! I am #1, and I will NOT be upstaged by a plagiarist and a charlatan!"

Haruka called out, "That did it! Now you're going to get it!"

Michiru said, "Okay, kid. Time to suffer an endless dance of Cory Baxter!"

Hotaru cackled and said, "Cory! Dance!"

Cory cheered, "I'm in the HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-!

 **WHAM!  
** Edward slammed his right arm, onto Cory's face, using his fist. Edward knocked Cory out and shouted, as he was **_triggered,_** "Don't you **EVER CALL ME A KID, AGAIN! YOU SAILOR BITCHES! I'M GOING TO PERSONALLY RIP YOUR PENS OFF AND PLUMMET YOU BACK TO THE FUCKING SOLAR SYSTEM, STRAIGHT INTO THE SUN, AND SAILOR MOON WILL NOT LIVE TO SEE 30 YEARS OF SAILOR MOON! CORY BAXTER YOU ARE A BLASPHEMOUS POSER, WITH NO SHRED OF ANIME IN THE WORLD, INSIDE YOUR BLOOD AND HEART AND SOUL! I'LL RIP THAT MOUSE EAR OFF YOUR DAMNABLE SKULL AND STICK IT STRAIGHT UP YOUR ASS, YOU BURBANK BROGUE!** "

The crowd cheered wildly, shouting "OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" and the bedlam continues on. Cory was out cold, as Beth was hiding in the judge's podium, sacred stiff. She seethed and roared, as the top of her lungs, " **ENOUGH!** "

She roared to Haruka and Michiru, "ALRIGHT, YOU TWO! **GEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEET** **OUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUT!** "

 **SOCKEYE!  
** She slammed a huge fist onto Haruka and Michiru, sending them flying to another dimension, beyond space and time. Beth calmed down and shouted, "OKAY! INTERNET MEME OR NOT! I DON'T CARE! JURY! THIS ENDS NOW!"

The first juror said, "Your honor we have reached a verdict."

Beth asked, "Alright. Now then… How do you find this Cory Baxter and this _ridiculous_ meme?"

The jury said, " **GUILTY!** "

Beth said, "Very good. Cory Baxter, I have had enough of your banter and preaching to the anime world about how _you're_ an anime! I'll be back in twenty minutes, while I learn from June, my sister, the definition of this meme!  
Court's on recess!"

She banged the gavel and left her bench. She called out, "SIS! Do you have a minute? I want to know what this meme is! Also, what's a _meme_?", retreating to her chambers.

* * *

Twenty minutes later, Beth returned, and she said, "Okay, I'm back. Cory Baxter, the court finds you _guilty_ , as a false anime! However, in light of this meme, I am safely assuming that _Cory in the House_ isn't just for fun. We have all had _YouTube Poops_ , such as Dr. Robotnik, Rick Roll, Smoke Weed, and even countless others. But not everything is all funny."

Yakumo said, "Your honor, may I make one final request…"

She boomed, " ** _STAY OFF THE WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEED-Dah!_** "

Beth barked, "Who are you, Stephen A. Smith? I'm only 8."

Hotaru smiled, "Your honor, I believe that is such meme-worthy."

Beth banged her gavel and said, "SHUT UP!"

She proclaimed, "Apparently that this case has become lopsided and confusing. In light of this, I hereby drop the case and say that it's cute, because you can say what you like, as long as you don't piss people off! Also, June told me that there are MANY internet memes to learn from. But to you two, I promise you… there can be NO OVERUSAGE! And if ANYONE denies that it's an anime, leave it the heck alone! Because memes is memes, and trolls is trolls, and NO ONE denies the fact, by becoming plagiarists and assfaces! Therefore, Cory Baxter and _Cory in the House_ , you're free to go, due to lack of evidence, and confusion of the courtroom, and COMPLETE NON-STOP BIZARRENESS THAT OVERRIDES MY COURTROOM! DO YOU HEAR ME?"

They all nodded, as Beth said, "Good. I guess I let that out."

She called out, "CALL ANYBODY WHATEVER YOU WANT! **NO** DEATH THREATS, **NO** HAZE AT REVIEWERS, **NO** CRITICISM, AND  ABSOLUTELY **NO** EXCUSES! WHY CAN'T WE ALL JUST GET ALONG?"

She gives Cory a sign that says " _Hi. I'm NOT JUST an anime, I'm also a meme_." And she added, "But you _are_ going to wear this. I made it myself. We'll assume that _you're_ an anime, which you're NOT; but that's the YouTubers and Internet people to decide. And if Walt Disney _has_ their way, if they _do_ make an anime of _Cory in the House_ , I want to be the first to know."

She offered a piece of candy and said, " _Jolly Rancher_?"

Hotaru cried out, "Wait… That's it?"

Yakumo said, "But… I won! _Cory in the House_ is-."

Beth roared, a la Eric Cartman, in ear rape volume, " **GOD FUCKING DAMNIT!** "  
She hollered, " **SHUT THE FUCK UP!** "

She calmed down and said, "And as for you two attorneys, you've wasted my time… I got off school, for this? Anyway, to Miss Tomoe and Miss Tsukamoto… Here's a _meme_ that you're familiar with!"

( _Mr. McMagnus "formerly McMahon"_ ): **YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOU'RE FIRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRED!  
** (The crowd roars in protest)

Hotaru cried, "WHAT? FIRED?! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Yakumo sobbed, "YOU CAN'T DO THIS!"

Beth yelled, "YES, I CAN! THIRTY DAYS IN THE LivE JAIL, FOR THE BOTH OF YOU! And you're BOTH going to _Anime Sensitivity Training,_ for the next two months. And you are to give a handwritten apology to the man that played Cory Baxter! I forgot his name… but you are to write a 20,000 word apology on why _Cory in the House_ is NOT an anime, but an internet meme that is made by fans who joke around, saying that it's the best anime ever! And if you decide to use death threats, that's an extra 60 days in the LivE Jail! DO NOT ruin value of comedic trolling! Yes, trolling is bad, but some jokes are _made_ to be funny! Why… _POWERPUFF GIRLS IS BEST ANIME OF ALL-TIME!_ "

Yakumo and Hotaru roared, " **OBJECTION!** "

She banged her gavel and said, "Judge Gumball will return in the _next "Courtroom of Anime_ ". And in light of this, I promise… NO MORE confusing stories!"

She concluded, "Court's adjourned! NOW EVERYBODY OUT! I wanna go join June and Emily on watching the new _Dragon Ball Super_ cartoon. Cue the _End Label_!"

* * *

 ** _Thanks for reading!_**

* * *

 ** _Miz-K Note:_** _Yes, this was memes all around, but in light of this, I have decided that "Cory in the House" can be called an anime, if given the chance, IF you want to. If you keep doing this, it'll be hate threats all around the community, by harsh people. So, from hereon in, call ANYTHING whatever you like. In any case, I want this "Cory in the House" meme to be put to rest. But it doesn't matter what you say. If you deny the fact of what they say, leave it alone, and I promise you, the world will be a better place. This is NOT about bashing or hating, it's about putting the meme to rest… which is bloody unlikely. Call it an anime, yes, but that's jokes and giggles, not rage against the anime world. You get threats saying that it's NOT anime, ignore them. I will allow NO bashing in MY fics.  
Also, try comparing your anime "Cory in the House" to the worst anime "Mars of Destruction", and see which the better anime was. And you'll know what I mean.  
Thank you, and enjoy my next work._


End file.
